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Could I ever live as a vampire?

posted 19 Apr 2014, 02:48 by Juliet Boyd   [ updated 23 Apr 2014, 07:21 ]
You know when you have one of those random thoughts, like 'What would it really be like to be a vampire?' and you decide to write a blog post about it? Well, I just had that very one and this is the result.

Many people have romantic visions of what it would be like to be a vampire. I guess they're thinking about how cool it would be to be able to run really fast and to live forever. And those aren't bad things - as long as you're prepared to still be here when the sun shrivels to nothing and it all goes dark - but when you get away from the romanticism, what exactly are you left with?
Halloween by Larisa Koshkina

The blood thing

Okay, let's get the worst thing about being a vampire out of the way first. No, I could not drink blood. I don't even eat meat (yes, I'm a vegetarian), so the thought of having to drink blood turns my stomach more than it would for a lot of others, but still, could you do it? I'm guessing that most people would have a problem with this part of the vampire lifestyle. So, anyway, I'd definitely die through lack of sustenance, unless my vampire instincts took over, in which case, then I'd just be disgusted with myself and want to die anyway.

The age thing

Now, I know it's not like vampires can't be older, but let's face it, the majority of them are portrayed as young, and usually blessed with the kind of looks that wouldn't look out of place gracing any magazine cover. Being a little more mature in years (ahem), I would feel a little out of place going around with a group of twenty-year-olds all the time. Or even worse, going around with people who have lived as long as I have, but don't look like it because they were turned in their twenties. Nightmare!

The night thing

Okay, so these days, there are lots of get arounds that allow modern vampires to go out in the daylight (I've even used  one or two myself in the Rag & Bones Vampire Series), but let's just suppose that none of these existed and we went back to the traditional vampire who could only go out at night and had to keep the curtains drawn all day, or retire to a coffin. I am absolutely not a night person. I get up early in the morning (usually between six and half past) and go to bed reasonably early in the evening (around ten). I am NOT a night person. I could think of nothing worse than having to sleep through the day and only be up at night. Either I'd have to have a body clock transplant or matchsticks for my eyes. Count me out!

The running faster than the speed of light, or a bullet, or any other very fast thing you can name

I'm am not the world's greatest athlete. I have never liked running. I was good at high jump and long jump as school and I played on the netball team, but I was never a runner. These days, the most stremous exercise I do on a regular basis is walking the dog, or following a fitness DVD in my lounge. The thought of running everywhere like a mad thing would drive me crazy. Although, I guess, I'd have the extra strength and stamina to go with it, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad - and at least I'd never be late for anything ever again.

The compelling thing

Okay, I admit, that this does sound like fun, but wouldn't it be a little bit boring always being able to get other people to do what you wanted them to. I think the he novelty would eventually wear off and then you'd be back to normal methods of getting things done and trying to find some other game to play with mortals.

The urge to kill anyone who gets in your way
Well, I guess we've all felt less than charitable thoughts towards other people from time to time, but would you be prepared to kill someone to get your own way? I doubt it. Admittedly, not all 'modern' vampires act in this way, but vampires are a violent species (is species the right word?). And imagine being that angry all the time - not a pleasant way to live.

The living forever thing

Honestly, how many vampires survive to live a long time? Most of them get picked off by a slayer, another supernatural, or someone of their own kind, and quite often after a particularly short length of time. Except for the lucky few, this one's a bit of a myth. The potential's there, but it's rare - and anyway, forever hasn't happened yet, has it?

So, on balance, I think I'll give being a vampire a miss.

The beautiful image used in this post is by Larisa Koshkina at Public Domain Pictures